33 + career update + deep thoughts

I turned 33 earlier this month. I happened to be in LA for about 24 hours so I got to celebrate with both my side and W's side. I also got to see my extended family at my cousin's baby shower, which was another treat. All in all a great birthday.

I haven't shared much about my career on this blog but I wanted to update you as this week was kind of major for me in terms of career and decision making. For a couple of years now I've been pondering what career to enter, and when I moved to Columbus I decided to go into nursing. What appeals to me about nursing is that it is a hands on helping profession, can be utilized on short or longer trips overseas, and is family friendly, as you can work part time (i.e. if and when I have kids). Having not taken any science classes as an English Lit major, I took prerequisites all of 2011, worked and applied to schools. Meanwhile, W applied to jobs. Suffice it to say that it's been a big transition to enter the world of healthcare.

Over the last few months I heard back from most of the schools I applied to all over the country and I turned down some (i.e. ones in Columbus), and meanwhile W got the job in Denver. We took a leap of faith and decided to move to Denver even though I wouldn't find out till later if I got into school there. Luckily, the last day of my trip when I was searching for housing in Denver I found out I got into a school here in Denver that has a great program, so that was awesome.

But it also meant saying no to other great schools. After weeks of reflection, prayer and talking to people, this week I notified my dream school of Columbia in NYC (& dream city to live in), and also UCLA (close to family, and of course I love LA), that I would not be attending. I knew in the end I would stay here but I had to go through this process so that I could work through all of my different feelings about it, not have regrets, not be resentful towards W, and ultimately be at peace.

We've been through so many transitions in the last few years and it finally feels like we're settling down. W is happy with his new job, and I will be starting school in June. We've started lightly looking around at homes. Denver feels like a pretty good fit for us so far. Somehow notifying the other schools this week has made everything seem more real for me and I feel more committed to being here in Denver now.

On the topic of Denver...I think I have a better attitude about being in Denver because of lessons I learned in Columbus. I complained a lot about loneliness, not having friends, not being understood as an Asian American, and experiencing culture shock. But now that I've left I actually realize that I made some solid relationships there and there are people and things about Columbus that I miss. Also, I'm realizing my experience transitioning to Chicago was an anomaly. We made friends and community so quickly there and after just 1.5 years it felt like home. I think I expected Columbus to be the same way. Now that I know the effort and time it takes, and the slower pace of building relationships at this stage of life, I think I have healthier expectations for Denver.

Denver has also been somewhat easier because there are many transplants here from all over, and from California. Therefore, people are more eager and open to forming new relationships, and they know what it's like to leave friends and family behind to forge a new life in a new place.

Additionally, I approach Denver differently with regards to my ethnic identity. Some resolutions I've made for myself are the following:

• give people the benefit of the doubt
• be authentic and myself in terms of my ethnic identity instead of swinging between the extremes of isolating or assimilating
• let mistakes people make be learning opportunities: teach people in grace and truth

Aah, I feel emotional and grateful at the end of this long blog post. If you've made it this far, I commend you. And thanks for reading, as always.

Purging

One of the great things about moving is the opportunity it gives you to get rid of stuff. I did so when we moved in June, and I did it again when we moved to Denver. This time, I even got W to part with some of his things. It's funny, he's such a simple guy - wears the same 2 fleeces and jeans every day - but he doesn't like getting rid of stuff.

This year I'm trying to get into the practice of owning a few simple, quality items that I love and will get a lot of use:

Clothing: I've come to the realization that for me it's all about comfort. I'm trying to limit my closet to things I will wear regularly, and not buy the occasional use clothes.

Kitchen: I'm refraining from buying ingredients (oils, spices, sauces, canned goods, etc...) that I will not use regularly. If a recipe calls for something I don't have, I try to use a substitute. I want to cook simply but start with fresh ingredients. What we use regularly is: soy sauce, garlic, sesame oil, mirin, salt, fresh ground pepper, olive oil and peanut oil. Right now our refrigerator is filled with mostly produce and I want to keep it that way.

Books: I haven't bought books for personal use in a few years. Most of the books on the shelf belong to W. I love borrowing books from the library, and recently began downloading them onto my phone for free from the library. I rarely read books twice so this works for me.

Above is a photo of one of my favorite kitchen items, a pour over ceramic coffee dripper - we use it almost every day. I love its simple design, and it makes the best coffee.

Hello Denver

We've moved to Denver! We arrived Sunday night, and have been settling in. I will update more later, but meanwhile, enjoy these pics from the last few days here.

Images from left to right: Afternoon stroll at Washington Park, view from our bedroom after the snow, view from our bedroom before the snow, view from our living room.

My transition

I haven't talked about it much, but I thought I'd follow up on my last post to talk about my transition from LA to the Chicago version of the midwest to the Columbus version of the midwest, because I need a place to extrovert my thoughts.  Moving to Chicago was one of the easiest transitions I ever made.  I fell in love with it almost instantaneously.  After a few months of struggling, we found a community and made a tight-knit group of friends.  I loved having seasons for the first time.  I loved not having a car.  I loved living close to work, church and friends.  I loved how many different unique areas the city had.  I loved the park, concerts at the park, the lake, running by the lake, and all of the free events around the city.  I was only there for 1.5 years but I felt like I made a life there.  I spent my first days of marriage there, and the people who got to know us got to know us as a married couple.  This is all stuff you know because I've written about it again and again.

Then we moved to Columbus, Ohio.  The land of the buckeye nation (OSU).  The real midwest.  It's not very diverse here.  The thing that I have the hardest time with though is not the lack of diversity, but rather the narrow life perspective.  Most people were born and raised in Ohio, went to college here and never really left.  Many have never been to the land of Hollywood, as LA is often seen here.  There are many, many stereotypes of LA, I have found, in the midwest.  It is nearly a foreign country to some people.

Which leads me to the topic of my last post.  I can't begin to count how many times W or I or both of us have been asked what country we are from.  It drives me nuts.  Or I'll meet someone and they'll tell me about a Japanese woman they met yesterday who plays two instruments beautifully (literally happened today), or they'll make some Asian reference, or recall the only other Asian person they know.  It happens at church, at the gym, wherever.  Sometimes people stare.  Our yoga instructor is a doctor and has taught yoga for 10 years, and is also Asian.  She was telling us today that they gave her a really hard time during her application for the position.  And she's the best yoga instructor at our gym.  I don't know.  Sometimes I get so angry.  Today at church we were targeted for a specific ministry by someone sitting in front of us at service because we were Asian.  She just introduced herself, asked us if we were new, asked us what country we were from, and then talked about what she wanted us to do for 15 minutes straight.  Thankfully, W was much more gracious than I was.  (Midwestern spirituality is another issue which I will not get into.)  I realize how spoiled I am.  I'm used to white people who eat dim sum in the morning, drink boba or froyo in the afternoon, go out for Korean bbq at night, and then do a late night taco truck run.

OK, so now that I've vented, to the good parts.  I do love the open spaces, the access to locally farmed or locally made products, organic products at a lower cost.  I love that I can go apple picking 15 minutes from home, get chestnuts from nearby farms and all of those farm-y types of things.  The cost of living is cheaper here, taxes are lower, homes are affordable and schools are good.  There's actually some really good ethnic food here.  I am loving the fall season. The foliage is absolutely amazing.  Despite all of my issues, I told W today that I think I could settle down here if it came down to it.

We have definitely had our ups and downs.  Some days I do better than W, and other days he does better than me (like today, when I was about to go ballistic).  I find myself missing Chicago a lot.  Sometimes we wonder what in the world are we doing out here?  I still don't have an answer to that question.  It also doesn't help that I can't find work.  But I'm grateful W has a job, we have a roof over our heads, we have food to eat, and we have our health.

That's all for today.  Thanks for listening.

settling in

we have mostly settled in and are getting used to our new place and surroundings.  i cooked nearly every day this week, which helps to make our house feel like home.

my cousin is getting married on saturday here in columbus so my extended family has begun to fly in, which is really nice.  

the hydrangeas above are cut from a bush in our little backyard area.  aren't they nice?

in columbus

and finally online!!!  i gotta run out the door but an update on the new life in cbus to come soon...

in columbus

hi everyone!  just wanted to log on to let you know that we arrived in columbus last night.  today the movers brought all our stuff and we've been busy unpacking, running errands and getting adjusted to our new place. 

first thoughts are that it's a bit of a shock.  the lifestyle here is so different from chicago.  it definitely feels more like a suburb.  i feel like i'm in the car all the time.  we like our place.  it feels huge compared to our chicago home.  i've been itching to garden and it turns out the owner had flowers around the house, some lilac bushes, stargazer lilies and some other pretty flowers whose names i don't know. 

i wish i could post photos but i have limited internet right now.  i hope everyone is having a great summer.  i'll let you know more about columbus and my asia adventures later.

23 days

I just counted, and I have 23 days left in Chicago.  But in my head I really only have 16 days because W's family is coming in town for graduation and when they come all of our time will be dedicated to them. 

The next 2 weeks are filled with various goodbye dinners with friends and coffee/lunches with girl friends.  It's a little overwhelming looking at my calendar.  Meanwhile, I've started reflecting on my time in Chicago.  Questions like what has this time been about?  What have I learned during this time?  What were some things I did well, and some things I did not so well?  What things can I do better as I start a life in Columbus?

One thing I noticed is that I didn't do such a good job of reflecting over the last year, so I want to do more of that.  Even doing some light reflection last week was refreshing.

Looking ahead

I'm making a concerted effort to think positively about the move.  So here's a list of things I'm looking forward to in Columbus:

- Having a second bedroom & bathroom which I hope will entice guests to come visit
- I learned about CSAs recently and am thinking about subscribing to one.
- With another room, I will have reason to get some new furniture.  I can't wait to troll Craigslist, and check out the thrift store / antique market scene in Columbus.
- Re-decorating!  With a new space comes new arrangements.
- Gardening.  I have a small space to grow my own garden (I think).  I'm itching to garden guys.  My mom's visiting us in August, and maybe she can help me get started (I have no experience).
- An attached garage.  No more taking the elevator down and up to retrieve something left in the car.
- Apple picking.  There's a place my aunt goes to every year, and they pick enough fuji apples to last them 6 months! (Oh yeah, did I mention I have an aunt out there?)
- Change of scenery.  While I'll miss the city, I'm looking forward to being around more trees, open spaces and natural environments.
- Lower sales tax.  6.75% baby.

I think Columbus will have other things in store for me that I am unaware of as of yet.  I will keep you posted.

oh no

the crying has begun.

today was my last day at work.  as i was getting ready for work in the morning, i had an emotional moment.  any other day, it would have been mundane, but that's exactly what made my routine special this morning - i felt so aware that it would be my last time doing the things i've become so accustomed to doing.

i was aware of packing my lunch and my backpack, driving to the train station, taking the metro, walking to work, and then my routine at work.

it was a really full day and i managed to get through the day without any tears.  i packed up everything and made my rounds saying goodbye to people.  there were some moments when i felt the tears welling up, but i pushed them back and stopped myself.  finally, i returned to my office and thought, "i think i made it without crying".  

but as i said my final goodbye, of course they came.

i cried and she cried.  then i left the office.  i cried all the way down the elevator, on the walk to the station, and on the train.  then i cried some more at home.  then a few hours later i cried some more telling will about my day over the phone.

the floodgates have opened.  it has begun.

i will miss

hearing the salvation army horn quartet playing christmas carols at union station on december mornings as i transfer lines

$3.06 falafel sandwiches next door to work, with 50% off coupon

urth caffe. i went to the downtown location for the first time today. awesome! urth has a special place in my heart, not only because it's a great cafe, but because will and i went to urth on many of our first dates.

noshi sushi. will keeps telling me to make frequent trips to noshi because i will miss good sushi in chicago.

golden deli. our favorite vietnamese food in alhambra. and cheap.

which reminds me - blossom, another favorite work lunch spot. vietnamese fusion.

el atacor - best tacos and burritos. they have a four tacos for $2.99 combo. ten minutes away from home.

shaab, our favorite shabu shabu spot in old town. really good deals during lunch.

i don't know how this turned into a food post. LA has such good, affordable, authentic ethnic food. i will definitely miss that.

no words

i am writing thank yous to my bridesmaids right now. i finished writing the first one, reread it and felt blah about it. words are inadequate to express all the joy, laughter, wisdom, love, support, encouragement, grace, truth and beauty i have experienced through them.

oh man, i'm gonna miss my girlfriends when i move.

tear.

here they come

our registry gifts are arriving. the other day will sent me an e-mail entitled "what i came home to", with this photo attached. i think these are some gifts, and the big box is a sofa we ordered.




will is so busy he hasn't had time to set anything up. i can just picture a bunch of boxes strayed all over his place right now.


i can't wait to go over there, open all the boxes, and set it all up! i love assembling things. it gives me a sense of satisfaction to put something together and see the final result.

3 weeks

i gave my three weeks notice at work today.  i was pretty nervous about it, but it went well.  my boss was very gracious and affirming.  it was also a huge burden lifted off me because i had kept quiet about will being in school for a verrry long time.  it was a relief to finally tell everyone.  my coworkers were both excited for me and sad.  

i'm going to miss my work, my routine and rhythm, my coworkers.  the quiet half hour mornings to myself, knowing the order in which people come in, snacks in the afternoon with coworkers, our chit chat and playful joking. 

i wanted to document my little office space before things get too hectic and i forget to do it.  here's the entryway to my desk...

yes, those are my files on the ground.  we don't have filing cabinets for them.  my desk is on the left side.

here's my computer area, what i stare at all day:

my cork board, office directory, cute calendar and other knick knacks i've accumulated...

here's my little "kitchen".  i drink green tea every morning in that red car mug, using the little strainer that my friend allison got me years ago.  and i wash those plastic utensils and reuse them, along with my cup, plate and bowl.

and a view from the top.

it's a tiny space, but i will miss it.

on a side note, as i was taking these photos, i realized how much obama stuff i had accumulated in that tiny space.  my work was like obama central.  couldn't stop talking about the elections at work.  oh, i will miss those days.